The Good Side!


I woke up early today, excited over all I get to do before the clock strikes midnight.
I have responsibilities to fulfil today.I am important. My job is to choose what kind of day
I am going to have. Today I can complain because the weather is rainy or..

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Be happy. just because things are not good, doesn’t mean you can’t see the good side of things.

I can be thank ful that the grass is

getting watered for free.

Today I can mourn my lack of friends or..

I can excitedly embark upon a quest to

discover new relationships.

Today  I can grumble about my health or..

I can rejoice that I am alive.

Today I can feel sad that I don’t have more money

or..

I can be glad that my finances encourage me to

plan my purchases wisely and guide me away from

waste.

Today I can lament over all that my parents didn’t

give me when I was growing up or..

I can celebrate that they allowed me to be born.

Today  I can cry because roses have thorns or..

I can celebrate that thorns have roses.

Today I can whine because I have to go work or..

I can shout for joy because I have a job to do.

Today I can complain because I have to go to school

or..

I can eagerly open mind and fill it with new rich

titbits of knowledge.

Today  I can murmur dejectedly because I have to do

housework or..

I can feel honoured because the lord has provided

shelter for my mind, body, and soul.

Today strecthes ahead of me, waiting to be shaped.

And here I am, the sculptor

who gets to do the shaping.

What  today will be like is up to me.

I get to choose what kind

of day I will have!

Have a great day … unless you have other plans.

Eat with gusto and enthusiasm.

Stop when you have enough.

Be royal.

Never pretend to be something you’re not.

If what you want lies buried,

dig until you find it.

When someone is having a bad day

be silent, sit close by and nuzzle them gently.
That’s the good side!

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Mean Meetings, Big Parties & Starved Marriages


Here we go!

The CHRONICLES of Eristaus

This was written by my friend and brother Paul Turyagumanawe and posted here with his permission. He implores the challenges that face Ugandan weddings today. He tackles the fact that weddings in Uganda today seem to be synonymous with having money or being rich. Worse still people would spend what they don’t have/earn to have a huge wedding party at the cost of even a good marriage. There seems to be a misconception that a wedding and a marriage are the same.


Friends, we have come of age at a time when the biggest part of the marriage is the wedding day.
An American friend told me a while ago that if you come to Uganda for a wedding ceremony and fly back immediately, you may go away thinking that Uganda is a land of only rich people. It was meant as a joke, but seriously, when it comes to…

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Be honest!


Openness and honesty are the key to every successful relationship. And so you must always bring up anything that’s bothering you. But sensitively. And there are still some things you shouldn’t say at all!

Like you’re bound to compare your current partner to other people you’ve dated. But keep your thoughts to yourself. It’s also not a good idea to ask too much about their previous partners – or even how many they’ve slept with. But it’s completely reasonable to worry about your sexual health. With this one it’s best to be blunt. Just ask straight out: “Do you have any STIs?”

Similarly, your partner might be doing something completely innocent that reminds you of a previous bad experience. It will affect your behaviour. Like making you unreasonably suspicious if an ex cheated, for example. Bringing everything into the open generally solves the problem.

Don’t be annoyed – or sarcastic – about body image questions like “Do I look fat in this?” Instead, gently encourage your partner to accept themselves the way they actually are. Stressing that it’s their personality and the way you treat one another that’s what’s really attractive about them.i

WANDERING EYE

Tempted to stray?

Your eye is also bound to wander! We’re just wired that way. Just so long as you’re only harmlessly attracted to passing strangers, mentioning these moments to your partner will only upset them.

But if you’re ever seriously tempted to stray, then something’s probably going wrong in your relationship. Resist the temptations – and try to find the cause together.

Avoid “You always…” and “You never…” arguments. They just put your partner on the defensive. Instead only discuss specific events, stressing how each one made you feel, and what your partner can do differently next time. Chances are they will.

If you’re still early in a relationship, don’t make any comments at all about your partner’s finances! But once you’re serious, you must start discussing your financial plans and how to manage your money together.

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Be diplomatic – it’s a hot topic – and give your partner time to prepare for your discussions.

Openness and honesty’s also very important when talking about sex. Many couples find the whole subject hugely embarrassing. But becoming truly intimate with someone means discussing literally everything. And there’s no doubt that you’ll have much more fun in bed once you can talk openly about what you want.

Then there’s your in-laws. Don’t try to keep your feelings hidden, but be respectful. Exactly how you’d want your partner to talk about your family if the situation were reversed.

Never ambush your partner on a difficult subject. Especially if either of you is stressed. Fix a time in the next day or so. Your conversation will go much better if you’re both prepared for the discussion.

And think how you react to what your partner tells you. If you’re always giving them a hard time, they’ll soon stop telling you anything at all! Instead just listen, and think before you reply.

Love is a risk.


Waking up every morning to the warm breath of your partner is the most wonderful feeling some people will confess. It is as if all your worries and troubles are wiped away that instant. But then again, love is not always magical as sometimes the insecurities, vulnerability and other issues can’t be escaped. Just the other day, as I was lying on my sofa and reflecting on life in the quiet confines of my living room, I started to think about this thing called love that has become complex today. No longer do lovers settle for leaving their promiscuous partners, but revenge by taking their lives.

I had just been reading the papers about the various murders of couples over this thing called love! The thought of someone you would give your all putting an end to your life freaks me out completely. It was one thing to imagine that the worst that could happen to you if you hurt your partner was leaving you, punishing you with silent treatment, or beating you up. Now its killing you.

I realized how vulnerable we are to our partners and generally to the people we meet and begin getting to know. Just think about it, you meet someone whose background you don’t have any clue about and accept to go on a date. Now by doing this, you have already put yourself in a compromising situation and your only hope is that the person had noble intentions.

Then after a couple of dates, you decide that you like them and want to date them, keeping in mind that its about a month or two which time is very short to know the real person. And even when you argue that spending time with them reveals their true identity, never can you know the depth of their fury. What if that hot chick you can’t get enough of is capable of murder? Well, this never crosses our minds as we dance in excitement after one of the many dates. The most burdening though is that not until something that shakes you happens do you start to wonder about these things, that is if you are not already six feet in your grave.

Sounds gruesome I know, but you can’t blame me for thinking about these things. Every day you discover something new about your partner, do you ever wonder what else you don’t know about them? And this goes for both men and women. A colleague at work one time discovered that her girlfriend’s ex left her not because she didn’t have money as she claimed, but because she was battering him. The last time they spoke she had sent him to a hospital bed with a broken arm. Scary I know. Now the conflict in this is that there may be a probability that your partner changed from her old bad habits when she met you, but again you can never be certain because circumstances may revive our most terrible habits. To love is indeed to make one’s self vulnerable.

That evening as my mind went over all the murders sparked off by passion over the last year, I cuddled my cushion and said a silent prayer.

Jesus Gave Us The Greatest Example.


JESUS DID NOT resurrect the same way Lazarus resurrected. After walking out of the tomb, Lazarus picked up where he left off. Once again he was living with Martha and Mary. Once again he was busy with the affairs of everyday life. And once again he had to die. In a letter to the Romans, St Paul wrote: “We know that Christ has been raised from the dead and will never die again. Death has no power over him anymore.” With the glory that was rightfully his as Son of God, why didn’t Jesus stay here on earth? If we had our way, we would have insisted that the Risen Lord remains insisted of ascending into heaven. We would have insisted that the King of Kings establish his reign on earth once and for all soon after the resurrection. Instead, he ascended and left us here to beg God: “Thy kingdom com!” The hard part is that most Christians have never seen Jesus. We must wait for the Parousia. The last words of the Bible urge us to pray: “Amen, come Lord Jesus!”

Maranatha

The first Christians must have repeated this phrase thousands of times. St Paul uses it at the end of First Corinthians. The entire letter is written in Greek, but St Paul says: “Maranatha!” He uses the word as the very first disciples used it – not in Greek but in Amaric, the mother tongue of Jesus and the Twelve Apostles. Because of the peculiarities of Amaric, “maranatha” has a double meaning. It means: “The Lord is coming!” It also means: lord, come!”

Do not think of it as if our Lord left us behind because he was tired of us. Do not think of it as if Jesus would rather enjoy himself in heaven than continue to put up with the evil ways of sinners. Just before he ascended into heaven, he told the Apostles: “know that I am with you always until the end of time.” We cannot see Christ. But he wants us to believe that he is with us. Indeed, more than merely being with us, he wants us to believe that he lives in us. He has ascended. But he is now closer than ever to those who believe. Look for Christ within. As St Paul urged the Christians in Colossae: “Seek the things that are above, because you have died and now your life is hidden with Christ in God.” Does this mean that we live in the clouds, neglecting our duties towards family, colleagues and friends?

No! Since our goal is to like Jesus, we imitate the Master who said: “I did not come to be served but to serve.” Serve others the way you would serve Christ himself. Serve others looking for Christ in them.

Types of men that women shouldnot date!

My advice to my fellow sisters.


Thinking of starting a new relationship?

Maybe hoping that this time you’ll find “the one”? Well, there are plenty of good guys out there to choose from.

But there’s also a load of rogues. They look good from a distance, but they also have a dark side.

So to avoid getting hurt, you need to be sure you’re not dating one of them.

That means watching every new guy’s behavior like a hawk. And if you see even the slightest hint of trouble, run!

The first things to look for are dishonesty and any sort of flaky behavior. Lies about where he is, who he’s with, who his friends are, where he lives, where he works and so on. Expect 100 per cent honesty right from the start, and if you don’t get it, run!

HRT

THE CHASE

Dump him if he’s never on time, cancels dates at the last minute, gets strange phone calls or messages, mistreats you, or is in any way weird with the people around you.

Maybe he’s charming to you, but rude to the waiters? Behavior like that’s an early sign of personality issues, anger and abuse.

Then there’s the guy who’s just out to use you. He only wants you for your body, doesn’t actually like women, and avoids emotional intimacy.

He’ll promise the world to get you naked  but will always leave you in the end. You’re with someone who’s pressuring you into sex? Gets aggressive or manipulative when you say no? Run!

Some guys just want a trophy to show their friends. They love parading you around, but won’t try to get to know you at all. All they want is for people to think they have a girlfriend, but you’ll never be treated like one.

Some guys love chasing a girl  all the way to the altar if need be. But that’s as far as it goes. Once he’s got you, he’ll start looking for his next conquest.

Beware of a guy who’s controlling. Who quickly starts telling you how to dress, where you can go and how you should spend your money.

He may even try to stop you working, or being with your friends and family.

To begin with, it feels wonderful. He’s so deeply in love with you and “protective…” But slowly, day by day, you’re losing your soul. Run while you still can!

MOTHER SUBSTITUTE

Especially avoid a guy who’s financially unstable, probably unemployed and definitely lacking in ambition, who only wants a woman to take care of him!

Instead of looking for a partner to share a life full of achievement, he’s looking for a mother substitute.

Who’ll finance, feed and clean for him. Your new guy’s career doesn’t seem up to much? Somehow you always seem to end up paying for dinner? And you’ve started lending him money?

Make sure you can spot these characters. And if one of them does come into your life, send him on his way again as fast as you can!

losing you


Dear Ann,

This does not sound right, I know. We have never been formal with each other. I have never even written you a proper e-mail. So this letter will definitely catch you by surprise — that is, if you ever read it.

I feel old-fashioned jotting down a letter. But then again, my being ancient is what made us “click” right from the start. None of our countless online chats can reveal the 4-year age gap between us.

Seeing as I could never call you childish, I shall take the blame for being too mature for my age. For a long time, I wondered what would make a charming accountant like yourself interested in a 22-year- old who did nothing but dream about being a famous playwright. I am glad, however, that you were.

Congratulations on your engagement! I’ve told you this several times before, but it was never sincere. I wonder if you noticed.

I remember the tightness in my throat, sweaty palms and welling eyes that Monday morning after you sent me the text message that you had popped the question that weekend. I must admit, it is a feeling I have been getting lately, while we are chatting — when you go on about how frantic he is about the flowers, the color theme, the maids’ dresses, your tux and well, everything really.

Once, I flared up, and if I had not quickly checked myself, I think I would have ended our friendship, or whatever it is that we have. I wished you would discuss your wedding crises with somebody else; say, your best man or at least someone who will attend the wedding. But today, I wish you all the best.

I shall not attend the wedding. I know I’ve said I wish you all the happiness, but I don’t know if I could stand watching as I lose you forever. Ha! Our relationship has been nothing but platonic, yet here I am sounding like a jilted lover.

The minute you exchange vows, I shall lose you. You know me; I make an escape whenever I sniff trouble. Even with you, I’m sorry, I shall have to run before you leave me in smithereens. But with you, it shall be different; I shall take the memories with me.

Funny thing, however much I try, I cannot remember how we “met”; a poke on Facebook? The day I saw you for the first time, however, is a different tale. I remember vividly every minute detail of that day, for I hated myself for a long time for the bunch of nerves I was. Every five minutes I would rub the sweat from my palms on my skirt under the table.

All the while I thought I was discreet about it but subtlety has never been one of my strong points. I almost knocked the mango juice off the table over your blue jeans. I remember now that I did not apologies, I was too numbed to utter a syllable.

You will be lost in a month’s time, and I have been trying to keep busy so as to not ponder about this. So I have been making sketches, a pastime I dropped in secondary school. My brother grabbed my drawing book from me the other day and asked whether I had given up on scripts and now had my eyes fixed on runway fashion.

You see, I’ve been trying to stretch a suit I had worn in a dream. A dream where I was at your wedding but it was I who was the bridegroom. The suit was emerald green, your favorite colour. It is a sad way to spend my days but what else can I do? I can no longer do crosswords.

Remember how you would tease that I had an obsession with crosswords and I vowed to make you love them too? I would buy the previous day’s dailies from the newspaper vendor (who would always complain that that was illegal) and cut out all the crossword puzzles. I’d text you the clues and you would reply with the answers, the correct answers; you were such a natural. We made it a morning ritual, no chatting before all the crosswords were solved. I have all the crosswords we ever solved together filed neatly in a green folder.

Who said it’s tough to break a habit; ours came down like a domino. The wedding preparations made sure of it. After a month of no crosswords, last week I texted you a clue. I still have the message you sent back saved on my phone. “Not nw. am trying out the tux!”I wept. I did. Truly I am losing you, and you are taking with you what was once a precious hobby. My precious hobby, our precious hobby.

I have never bought a single newspaper since that day. The old newspaper guy called to me yesterday as I came from the shops.

“I have your papers!,” he said as he bent down to pick up a pile of different dailies.

“Oh I’m sorry, I won’t be buying them any more.”

I tried my best to sound cheerful, “I’ve decided to be law abiding!”

I even threw in a chuckle. He looked irritated and did not respond. Instead, he took out a cigarette from his Daily Nation-branded dust coat and lit it. I lingered for a few seconds thinking he would say something but he didn’t. He was evidently angry.

I wanted to tell him that I too was bitter, I wanted the newspapers badly but they would be of no use. He would not understand, so I walked home, head bowed, kicking the pebbles I found in my way.

I would not be this miserable if I could complete a crossword by myself, but I can’t. I have tried, I simply can’t. I need you. I have tried filling out the one you refused to help with. I used a pen; I had always used a pen when we were doing one together. But I was alone; I should have used a pencil. I made a mistake, several mistakes really. The crossword now sits crumpled in my bin. I lost.

I wish you happiness in your new life as you have given me happiness. It would be selfish not to want the best for you. I wish you happiness even though it means I shall lose you; I am losing you.

Love, Herman.